My favorite quote from Chapter 11 is "Great teachers work hard to keep their relationships in good repair to avoid personal hurt and to repair any possible damage." TW continues to stress that the teacher is the deciding element and that great teachers try to treat people respectfully every day! He goes on to say that even if they don't need to repair they always do.
Chapter 12 looked at the Great Teachers ability to ignore. (Meaning they pick their battles and they know when to take a stand and when to let things go.) TW shared that, "You can look for trouble or you can look away" and great teachers know when to do which.
Treating everyone respectfully every day should be a top priority for teachers. This isn't always easy when dealing with students who are "repeat offenders," but it is vital to maintain positive relationships with our students and peers.
ReplyDeleteChapter 12 goes with one of my favorite mottos...."pick your battles." It has served me well in dealing with my own children as well as my students. You just have to let the little things go and focus on the big picture.
Amy, you're right. Treating all students respectfully can be a challenge when dealing with students who are "repeat offenders," and I was thankful for the reminder. Today, more than ever, it is imperative that we show students how to respect others. Modeling this for them is the only way to do that.
DeleteI also live by your motto..."pick your battles." We must do this in every aspect of life, but especially in the classroom. Big picture is key.
I agree, Amy. We have to pick our battles. I want to successfully ignore those attention seeking behaviors and instead, promote the good behaviors. It's hard, but this summer reading and discussion puts us in front of the curve discussed in chapter 12.
DeleteI totally agree with pick your battles. Criticizing unnecessarily is so overwhelming and exhausting. Definitely looking at the big picture is the key to a more successful classroom.
DeleteI agree too. We do have to pick our battles and not get caught up in the little things. The big picture should be our focus. We have to remember the students are watching us!
DeleteChapter 11: "Effective teachers take advantage of teachable moments." TW stresses again the importance of developing and nuturing the relationships. "Great teachers work hard to keep their relationships in good repair to avoid personal hurt and to repair any possible damage."
ReplyDeleteChapter 12:
The very first sentence of the chapter says it all, "Great teachers have an incredible ability to ignore." As previously mentioned it is "choose your battles." This doesn't mean we are clueless but that we are alert about everything that happens in my classroom. And, TW's final quote for this chapter is an amazing statement,"Great teachers have the ability to ignore trivial disturbances and the ability to respond to inappropriate behavior without escalating the situation."
...the ability to ignore. This is an area I would like to improve upon in my classroom. I think I do this fairly well, sometimes. At that precise moment when I am mulling over in my head just what to do, I am arguing with myself over addressing the behavior vs. trying to figure out what ignoring the behavior will say to the other 26 children watching..all in a matter of seconds. I don't want to send the wrong message by ignoring a behavior, but I also don't want to continually make mountains out of molehills. Angela, I think I will type TW's statement and place it in a prominent place to serve as a daily (or hourly) reminder.;)
DeleteI would also like to improve in my ability to ignore. This can be so hard to do. I see how ignoring some inappropriate behaviors can be beneficial. We must choose our battles so that we are constantly creating negativity in the classroom.
DeleteI too would like to improve in this area. It's hard to ignore but you also realize that addressing some behaviors repeatedly does not always price beneficial.
DeleteI loved the points chapter 11 and 12 make! It can be difficult to keep relationships in good repair at times, but I agree with TW that it is so very important. I try hard not to let my mood affect my students. I absolutely loved the part about how to deal with difficult parents or students by using the phrase " I'm sorry that happened". I'm gonna use that more!! Also, the highway patrolman analogy is a great idea to use.
ReplyDeleteChapter 12 is something I think I do pretty well most of the time. The planned ignoring of minor behaviors. One thing I picked up years ago from another teacher was to say a students name that is off task and keep right on teaching. No pauses, no correction, no stern looks. Just say their name. It seems to work well to curb that unwanted off task behavior during whole group. TW's section on understanding the high achievers was terrific. So often we focus on helping the lower students that we forget how to respond to those high acheivers. I like the point he made about knowing how to give them the right kind of attention to keep them going without causing them to be afraid to mess up!
I also love to use the little trick of just saying a student's name while teaching to get him/her back on task. That really does work like a charm most of the time! That's a great little trick for those newcomers to teaching to put into their "bag of tricks." I'm glad you mentioned that, Jennifer! :)
DeleteI love that too.
DeleteI ❤ inserting a child's name into a read aloud. It grabs their attention, and they love it!
DeleteFrom Laurie Poppenheimer.....Jennifer, I also plan to utilize the phrase,"I'm sorry that happened." TW had some great points about using that phrase with parents AND students. I also noted the clever highway patrolman analogy. TW elaborated that sometimes we must model the behavior for our students. "Telling someone to do something without teaching him how makes no sense." As teachers, we show "how" with every skill lesson, but I'm not sure that I have effectively applied this concept to interpersonal behaviors. I will work on this concept, for sure!
ReplyDeleteChapter 12 included a section on understanding high achievers. There is a tendency to ignore this group. As TW says, we must move them forward at their own pace.
I too love TW's phrase, "I'm sorry that happened." I really want to focus on trying to use that when possible. A little empathy does go a long way! Each chapter keeps reminding me about the importance of building that close community and fostering those essential relationships with students. Funny how EVERYTHING ties to those ideas! Coincidence....I think not! ;)
ReplyDeleteI loved the focus on the high achievers in Chapter 12. I think it's so important that TW notes that those students often DON'T like to be "called out" for their great work, just the same way that struggling students don't want to be identified or labeled by work that isn't so great. I know I've been guilty of praising a high achieving student for their performance only to see them "shy away" from me and the attention I've drawn. I want to make more of an effort to remember how critical this type of student is on their own self, and acknowledge their efforts accordingly.
The top of page 77 is a fantastic summary of what a "great teacher" is. TW compares us to "master chefs"! He says our day-to-day is a "fast paced and delicate balancing act." Well...he's right, it is! However, reading this book has reminded me of so many things and introduced me to several new ideas as well! I think we're more than equipped to handle the fast paced, delicate balancing act!
I totally agree with Kendra's statements, and many above. These are very good techniques to use to improve our effectiveness in the classroom.
DeleteKendra, you are so right about praising high achievers. Some of them love nothing more than to get that recognition in front of their peers and to be in the spotlight, but there are just as many who are extremely uncomfortable in this situation. That's where the importance of building relationships with our students comes into play. Knowing how to praise each student so that it is truly meaningful to them! :)
DeleteI also liked the "I'm sorry that happened" phrase. It makes the students feel included in your world and feel like part of a caring community. Renee, I love what you said... "Knowing how to praise each student so that it is truly meaningful to THEM!" That really got me thinking.
DeleteI love the "I'm sorry that happened" phrase also. I even used it this past week when I went to church camp with 35 teenagers! There are so many "nuggets" from this book that can be carried over into other situations (home, church, sports). And I don't want to just repeat what everyone else has said, but the key begins with relationships!
DeleteThis resonates deeply with me. I try to find the good in most situations and move past the negative with my parents, students, personal children, and even employees. I plan to use this phrase which is genuinely true we just never think to say it.
DeleteI'm sorry that happened. That's gold. Such good information learned through this book. So many good little nuggets. I have already printed off the 17 things to keep hung by my desk!
DeleteSo much good information in these chapters. Whitaker's point about teaching students how to do something like apologize reminded me of our group discussions during Making Meaning and Being a Writer - we don't just say "Okay class, talk amongst yourselves...", we teach them how to have those discussions respectfully by modeling saying things like, "I agree with ____, but I also think...", or "Johnny made an interesting point about the theme, however I thought..." So of course it makes sense that we would need to do the same thing for certain social skills.
ReplyDeleteI, too, love the "I'm sorry that happened." phrase. I see myself using that quite a bit in the coming years!
Chapter 12 hit on knowing when and what to ignore. I will admit that this was a tough area for me last year (my first year in regular ed). Hopefully this advice will help me find the right balance.
Erinn, I immediately thought of our prompts as well! It helps build effective conversations which in turn teaches respectful conversations! At the end of Chapter 12 TW is discussing nitpicking a child's writing. He states, "If we continually nitpick at a child's writing, they will eventually only use simple words they know how to spell in very short sentences in order to avoid the wrath of the red pen. This is truer even with the most talented students." Our writing curriculum really supports this statement with how it is built when it comes to conferencing and even grading (i.e. rubrics just focusing on a few grammar skills, not every. single.thing.) It makes me feel secure in the programs we have and building on what we have already established in our classrooms.
DeleteI also loved the "I'm sorry that happened" phrase. It can really turn a conversation around. I also liked not nitpicking a student's writing. I love Being a Writer because it helps the students to feel successful!
DeleteErinn, thank you for mentioning how the accountability talk taught in the Making Meaning and Being A Writer curriculum helped with modeling right behavior with your students. We will be using both this year and it is good to hear from someone that the curriculum works.I appreciate that as reassurance that our school has made the right decision to use them.
Delete"Pick your battles" is my battle cry! It's hard to let go and realize that every little infraction doesn't have to be "punished to the fullest extent of the law!" :)
ReplyDeleteI love Kendra's insight that TW keeps coming back to the essential idea of knowing and having relationships with your students! Everything really does start and build from there.
OH, and "I'm sorry that happened" - that's golden. I can think of many times over the years that little gem would have come in handy! (I really hope I can remember to use it...)
DeleteThat really is golden! It's so neutral and seems to please everyone involved. Those words could be used in most situations without any blame being placed.
DeleteWendy, "pick your battles" is my battle cry as well!! I am constantly trying to remember to let things go 🙂 I am going to try to also remember to use the "I'm sorry that happened" this coming year.
DeleteI agree that "I'm sorry that happened" is so neutral and is going to be a phrase I am going to use!
DeleteI have been using the I'm sorry that happened a lot 😊. I am making it habit before I get to work, so it comes natural.
DeleteChapter 11 Reflection #conscientiousness #proactive These two words sum this chapter up well. If we are one step ahead of our behavior, we will save a lot of heart ache and our jobs will become easier. Lack of people skills and pride/egos get in the way of our repair work when building relationships. We must recognize this and work to help others with this as well by modeling defusing techniques such as, “I am sorry that happened.” This can be used with both adults and students.
ReplyDeleteI really liked TW’s highway patrol example. This is very practical and will make sense…especially to young people. We must focus on prevention, not punishment. “Being nice” gets us a lot further and will alleviate many problems. TW states that we must “take advantage of teachable moments and work hard to keep our relationships in good repair to avoid personal hurt and to repair any possible damage.” ~Holly Engberg, 5th grade, LES
I liked the highway patrol example too! That's one i'll be sure to remember for myself as well as share with my kids and students. It's always more beneficial to take the high road in life!
DeleteI'm glad TW put in the part about letting students know that there is a benefit to them for apologizing. I have known that there is a personal benefit for being nice, but now I have permission to share that with the students I teach! It seems that in each chapter I have an "amen" moment and an "Uh-oh" moment. I never want to hurt any child's feelings but I'm afraid that I have in the past. I bothers me to not know the damage I have caused, so I plan to do more repairing this year just in case!
DeleteI too believe that we must focus on prevention, not punishment. I loved the TW quote in your last paragraph. Saying "I"m sorry" goes a long way!
DeleteChapter 12 Reflection #chooseyourbattles #positivefocus #balancingact
ReplyDeleteThe ability to ignore can be challenging, and we must find that balance of when to address a negative situation or when to ignore it. Making effective decisions on the fly is also a daily occurrence. We teachers have be be armed and ready. This comes with experience, and I find every year that I learn more and more strategies for how to deal with negative behavior that improves classroom management. #trialanderror is what it’s about. Always learning. Attention to detail is a must as a teacher as well as modeling self control. The students have to know that we are constantly in tune to what goes on daily. I have found that building close classroom relationships makes getting down to the bottom of a situation a lot easier. Get the students on your side and 99% of the time the mood takes a turn for the better.
I was really able to connect with the end of chapter 12. I also think that “ignoring minor errors” that we make as teachers is a must. TW states that “we are often our own worst critics”. This could not be more true. I know I cause myself a lot of extra stress trying to make everything “perfect,” and when I mess up, I can really let myself down or be hard on myself. This also applies to our students. We have to realize that we are human, and learning from our mistakes is what it’s all about. The trial and error approach and having the “growing” teacher/student attitude can get us through. I thrive in an environment and atmosphere that focuses on the positive and growth approach. It helps with confidence and motivation. Students do as well. ~Holly Engberg, LES, 5th grade
I have to agree with you Holly! It is difficult sometimes to decide when to ignore and when to address a situation. I also think that it is a must to build those relationships early on with students and to keep that positive atmosphere within the classroom. It does make things so much easier!
ReplyDeleteYes, it is hard sometimes to know when to ignore a situation. I think it is important to have strong student relationships so we can know what is going on in their world.
DeleteI agree Julie! It is hard sometimes to ignore the small things. I also agree that it is good to have a strong relationship with students. I love how BAW and MM have building community units not only for the students but for us too!
Delete"Avoid the wrath of the red pen." The question is, How do I encourage my students to do their best and still have those mistakes addressed and at some point self corrected without crushing the creativity?" Still, the power is held in our hand with the "RED PEN". We as the teacher can praise the positives we see with the dreaded red pen, and change the perspective of the student about the red pen.
ReplyDeleteTW gives an example of observing a wonderful lesson with in a teacher's classroom. He stated that in the post conference with the teacher he opened the discussion by asking the teacher how she thought the class went. He also stated that she spent several minutes picking apart what he thought was a magnificent lesson. She saw her lesson in a different light. We are naturally programmed to focus on imperfections within in order to improve outcomes.
I can see how this could be a method to approach my students with. If we start by having the students evaluate their work I am sure they would point out a lot of what we would that could be correct Ted or improved if we had our "RED PEN" in hand. I like how TW allowed the individual to point out what she thought was needed to improve her lesson,and he followed it up with all the positive things that he noticed instead of the improvements.H e allowed the I dividual to focus on the improvements. This could be an effective approach in our classrooms that we use with our students and their work. The praise we give in discussion and with our "RED PEN" can not only have a positive result on our relationships with our students,but it can also change their perspective on "the wrath of the RED PEN" being avoided at all cost. If we have students look for things within their work most of the time they will at some point begin to see clearly the trivial things we would correct. By putting the individual in a place to evaluate their work and us continue to praise the poitives we really end up with a win,win. Both are being addressed,and the approach enhances student\teacher relationship.It keeps communication between the two positive and open as well as welcomed.
I agree with this. I have a hard time stepping back and waiting for the student to evaluate his own work. I guess I get a little self-centered and impatient. I know most of the time when I could imorove. It is so important that an adult can do this, so it is my job to teach this if I'm prepating children for life.
DeleteI agree too! I know at the end of the year, during writing conferences, many times the students could tell me what they had wrong without me even pointing it out. It is hard to let the marking/grading be in the student's hand, but I do think that they learn so much better that way. I need to do better with praising the positives, not just pointing out the negatives :)
DeleteHey, summer bloggers! Be sure to check your email for details on our wrap up and celebration. Mrs. Nye and I are so proud of the summer reading and responses from all of you. I know we aren't finished yet, so keep up the amazing work! Guess what? Mrs. Nye and I are getting to read TW's book "What Great Principals Do Differently" for our admin summer reading. The books are so similar to one another. Imagine that! :) #alwaysateacher
ReplyDeleteChapter 11: In my opinion this Chapter goes back to one of the key things that I read in the introduction "people skills" . People skills are essential when dealing with parents, students, and co-workers. My new favorite phrase from Chapter 11 is "I am sorry that happened". I highly intend to use that in future situations!
ReplyDeleteChapter 12: I think this chapter is key especially when we think about dealing with some of our more challenging students. We have to learn how to pick our battles. Yes, not every situation can be ignored and sometimes there are incidents that arise in the classroom that warrant our attention. There are times when we must learn to let some of the minor things that are getting under our skin go and don't allow those minor things escalate into a big unnecessary battle in the classroom.
Holly, I agree with you on both chapters. People skills as essential to having a successful relationship with parents, student and our co-workers. I also plan on using "I'm sorry that happened." Love it!!! In Chapter 12, picking and choosing our battles is so important. I feel like I am still discovering how to do that with older kiddos. I do believe it will become easier for me with more experience.
DeleteI appreciate TW in his comments about ignoring the trivial. Audra , I also have trouble with this area and am going to place the statement where I have a reminder. It is a very delicate balance and as educators we do make these decisions in seconds. I pray to have the wisdom to know what to ignore and what to address .
ReplyDeleteChapter 13 Random or Plandom reminds me of an ever present tone while working on my degree. Plan plan plan, then evaluate and make changes. I do better as a teacher if my classes are structured but I also love it when students discussion causes me to lay aside a plan and we all learn together. Plans are made to help both teacher and student stay on task and informed about where our learning is headed. We all have "Jimmy and Billy" in our class and redirecting them to another group is an easy fix even during activities once the teacher recognize the issues.
ReplyDeleteChapters 11 and 12 I LOVE The Highway Patrol section-such good things to learn from this. Modeling is such a needed tool for a teacher to use. In Chapter 12-picking your battles-great ideas to remember in the classroom and BEYOND...
ReplyDeleteIn Chapter 11,"I loved The Highway Patrol section! I loved the example of how he used this strategy and made into a "teachable" moment. When TW mentioned how he gave Johnny word-for-word language because he might not have it himself reminded me of the beginning of the year. This again reminded me to slow down and make sure routines and procedures are taught at the beginning of the year and to use teachable moments like the Highway Patrol! Always taking the high Road:)
ReplyDeleteIn Chapter 12, TW talks about picking your battles, by ignoring minor disturbances and responding appropriately to inappropriate behavior. I feel like this goes back to building relationships with students at the beginning of the year, being positive, and making PRAISE authentic, specific, immediate, clean and private. I feel when I stay positive and continue to praise students they do not misbehave simply because they want attention. #PraiseisPowerful #masterchefwithbusykitchen
We are definitely a master chef with a busy kitchen! I loved that example.
DeleteI have really got to work on ignoring minor disturbances and praising the appropriate behavior, especially when a student who normally has behavior issues is behaving well! Our days are so fast paced that it's sometimes a difficult thing for me to remember to do, but with practice it'll become something I do without having to stop and think about it. Make sense?? ;)
DeleteI have already applied the 'I'm sorry that happened"...love it & can't wait to teach it to both my own children & my students because as TW said, "Telling someone to do something without teaching him how makes no sense at all." I love it!
ReplyDeleteIgnoring the irrelevant & trivial can save so much headache for so many. I have had to learn that the hard way...because I am not always the best at ignoring. I woildnt say that I nitpick, but I don't always overlook things that could be overlooked. As I was reading this, I thought of the quote "Don't sweat the small stuff." I am going to try to apply this more this year! :)
*wouldn't
ReplyDeleteAfter reading chapter 11, I realize that teaching doesn't get easier as some professions might, but when done successfully, it is probably the most rewarding of almost any other profession as well as the most challenging! In chapter 12, when TW likened a great teacher to a master chef who can keep a busy kitchen cooking along in the midst of what looks like chaos to the uninformed, I instantly thought of my class. So true!
ReplyDelete(Ch 11) Teaching students to repair a situation instead of escalate it is a must-have skill that we should teach them for shaping their future. We make choices every day that bring positive or negative experiences. I want to be sure I do everything I can to help them be successful in their environment.
ReplyDelete(Ch 12) While the whole chapter was great, I keep going back to the last paragraph. I want to try every day to be that teacher, the one that ignores little stuff and responds appropriately. I want to give my students attention and recognize their achievements all of the time, year after year.
Chapter 11-The big take-away from this chapter for me is the statement, "I'm sorry that happened." I plan on using that in my personal as well has professional life. Showing empathy can go a long way in repairing a sensitive situation. I also agree that we must teach students the skill of repairing. This will "help to build a more peaceful world." I know we can all agree we need that right now.
ReplyDeleteChapter 12-Great teachers ignore minor errors. If our students' minor mistakes are constantly pointed out, they stop taking educational risks. Taking risks in the classroom leads to growth. I also loved the comparison of a great teacher to a master chef. Teaching is truly a balancing act!
In Chapter 11 there were several things that stuck out to me.
ReplyDelete1. Effective teachers and principles are always being careful with every statement they make or action they take.
2. Consistently compliment and praise students
3. Effective teachers are continually working to repair , just in case.
4. Higher expectations for themselves.
5. People Skills!
6. Take advantage of teachable moments! Love this, there are always teachable moments in every situation.
I also love the phrase to use when you are meeting with a parent about something they are concerned or upset about, "I am sorry that happened", to help diffuse a situation.
In Chapter 12 I really enjoyed what the author says about an effective teacher knows when to go with the flow, when to take a stand, and how to quell minor disturbances without further distracting others. This is reassurance to me about how I have reacted to different situations within my classroom. I have done this in the past and know that different situations have different ways of reacting. I have been guilty of reacting on things immideatily at the wrong time or not using the ability to ignore and it has backfired on me. I'm really going to try to use this advice much more, especially with those students that do it for entertainment and to get a reaction out of me. "Their classroom management is grounded in their ability to manage their OWN BEHAVIOR"! My favorite part is when he says " a great teacher resembles the master chef who can keep a busy kitchen cooking along in the midst of what looks like chaos to the uniformed"!
I taught for several years before I had children. It was really hard to empathize with parents. Now that I have three perfectly imperfect children, it is much easier. I may not agree with their viewpoints about an "event" that happens with their children. But, I can now see how they are advocates and, for the most part, want what is best for their kids. Building trust with them and letting them know that I also want what is best for their kids really helps.
ReplyDeleteI LOVED the section in Chapter 12 that explained how to help high achievers grow. Most of the time in writing, the high students have very few grammatical mistakes and they complete the assignment as instructed. Easy 100. But, asking them what they think they could have done better always brings out concepts that are amazing. They love the fact that they can see that, and so do I. "... it keeps them moving forward under their own steam." LOVE that.
ReplyDeleteI want to add to the comments that have been made in regard to the section "The Highway Patrol". One comment TW mentioned here and in another section of the book is that we have student's that have been taught the skill of repairing relationships, but we have many that have not. I too will be looking for ways to teach my students to repair relationships. I have been guilty of gripping about those students who I felt had "no home training". Unfortunately, although I may not believe each child in my classroom is getting the good ol' fashion upbringing I may have had, it is not my place to judge that. It is my responsibility to help my students learn how to navigate life in the future by teaching them some community building skills now such as learning to repair relationships. I don't completely know or have control on what their community life is like outside my classroom, but I can help them get a better sense of what it means to live on a successful community bywhat I teach them in the classroom.
ReplyDeleteThe classroom may be the best example of what their future community will be like versus what they have at home anyway. Think about it. Most classrooms today consist of a diverse group of people - students from differing social, economic, & ethnic backgrounds. Classrooms reflect society more than a student's home life does, usually. If we help them navigate in this environment maybe when they become adults they'll be better prepared not only on how to repair relationships, but also how to have better relationships with others as well.
I love everything that you said! I am also going to look for ways to teach my students how to repair relationships. I think the best way to do that is by modeling from the teacher. I agree with you that the classroom is a better reflection of society than a student's home life. We have the perfect opportunity to teach our students how to have good relationships with others!
DeleteYolanda, I too, got alot from this section, and I love all that you wrote. I especially agree with your statement about how the classroom reflects society even more so than the students homelife. How true, and something to think about.
DeleteIn chapter 11, I loved the statement Todd Whitaker gave for dealing with parents in a difficult situation as a diffusing technique: "I am sorry that happened". I like how it is a powerful statement to make without placing any blame on anyone, and the teacher remains professional. I also like how this can be applied to personal relationships as well. I love this book!
ReplyDeleteChapter 11: I also liked the tool that Whitaker uses to diffuse aggressive parents, "I'm sorry that happened". This can be especially helpful in IEP meetings when the parent's emotions are running high. Sometimes parents just need to vent and want us to listen. Using this phrase can completely change the direction of the conversation because we are showing compassion.
ReplyDeleteChapter 12: I really liked the last paragraph of this chapter where Whitaker compares a great teacher to a master chef. It is so important to have the ability to ignore trivial things while responding appropriately to inappropriate behavior without escalating the situation.
ReplyDelete